Call me Alice

Because it turns out that I'm still falling down this rabbit hole.

As Novie shared, surgery went well and I'm recovering. Everyone at the hospital was so nice that I didn't even feel scared going in. Husband has been taking good care of me, and my mom came yesterday so Husband could go to work.

Now on to the big news. They found mild endo, like Dr. C was expecting. Unfortunately, they also found something much scarier: a tumor on one of my ovaries. Dr. C said they think it's a "borderline" tumor, which means it's not benign, but maybe it's not totally malignant yet. They used to be called semi-malignant tumors, apparently. A quick online search will probably explain it better than I can, if you're curious.

While I was still unconscious, Dr. C's office arranged with Husband for an appointment with an oncologist on Monday morning. Apparently this doctor, Dr. R, is the person who Dr. C consulted when she got inside and found the tumor, which she fully excised. I think they'll have the full cytology report by Monday's appointment.

Now, no one with a medical license has used the "C" word yet, though Dr. C did say that Dr. R may want to do a staging laparoscopy, which could involve removing one of my ovaries and some lymph nodes. There are only two things I've ever heard of as being staged: endo and cancer.

I'm trying to stay calm and focus my energeries on healing from this surgery. It's hard work not using your abdominal muscles! Emotionally, I think I'm still a bit in shock. I am angry that no one knew about this before they went inside, because then at least I'd have known before going in that this surgery would not be about getting my insides healthy enough to make babies, but about the tumor and all of the possibilities that go with that.

Dr. C said she wasn't sure whether my fertility issues came from the tumor, or if it's just an additional, separate thing. I don't know how soon we can find out about that. I suppose it will all depend on the cytology results. When I looked up borderline tumors, the internets told me that they may require radiation or chemotherapy. Both of which just fill me with dread. I had thought that Husband and I would get to be thinking about making babies after this, but now we're worrying about cancer instead. Poor Husband, he's so distressed and trying to hide it. I hate to be the cause of his worries. Please keep him in your prayers.

Thank you so much for all of the surgery support you sent. It feels good to have friends far and wide praying for me.

Love,
Jan