Sunday, October 2, 2011

January's First Infertility Appointment

My husband and I went to our first infertility appointment last week. I had a P+7 blood draw because it just happened to be the right day, the doctor gave me an order for a hysterosalpingogram (HSG for short), and gave the husband a “Catholic collection kit,” as I'm calling it, because who doesn't like alliteration? We already have a follow-up scheduled for six weeks from now.

Dr. C was pretty great. She explained briefly some of the different things that could be going on, and how we'd go about detecting them. I felt like she really paid attention to us and gave us her time. Another thing I appreciated was that the office the very next day to inform me about the blood draw results. (They were normal, BTW). The nurse said, “Dr. C just wanted me to make sure I called you and let you know.” That might not seem like much, but I know they have a crazy-busy office, so it left a good impression.

The appointment, or, more accurately, its immediate aftermath, highlighted to me a key difference between me and my husband. Before we drove to work in our separate cars, I wanted to debrief about what we had heard and learned. Hubby was confused. “We have pamphlets and we can talk about it later. Dr. C explained everything, what's there to discuss?” I, on the other hand, kept saying “I just want to talk about it.” We went back and forth like this for a good minute, until husband was angry and I burst into tears.

“I'm just feeling overwhelmed by everything we learned,” I squeaked out.

Instantly, he understood. It turns out that he felt empowered by all of the information that had been shared with us, and he was ready to start knocking things off of the list. On the other hand, I have been reading up on fertility problems for months and already had a rough idea of the many things that could be going on. Being told by a doctor made them official and real; suddenly, any or all of them might actually apply to me.

So, my husband let me talk about my fears, we hugged it out, and as we each drove off to work, I began to feel better. We're going to start figuring out what there is to figure out!

Now that I look back on this interaction, how educational it was! My understanding is that men and women think differently from each other—I know my husband and I do—so communication is key. During our little spiraling argument, I thought that what I had been doing was communicating. It turns out that this was a lesson in exactly what I need to communicate. Husband needs a reason to discuss things, so first, I must communicate about why I want to communicate. Ah, marriage. Thanks to you, I shall never be done learning.


P.S. - I'm trying not to be nervous about the HSG. Anyone want to share their not-too-scary story with me to give me courage?

P.P.S – Has anyone encountered resistance to their “Catholic collection kit” at the lab? Dr. C warned us that this could happen.


  1. My hubby and I are the same way! I am like you. I want to talk. Sometimes it's like pulling teeth. :) Communication is hard to do sometimes. I'm so glad your hubby is willing to get-r-done. :)
    I have had a HSG. It was at a hospital and I didn't have any trouble. It was a little uncomfortable, but not the worst thing I've had done. I hope yours goes smoothly! It will be an opportunity to cross a possible problem off your list.
    We went to an out of town lab for our SA. We just told them this is the way we were doing it. We booked a hotel and stayed over (might as well make good use out of an out of town trip!) and just had to get the package there within the hour or thirty minutes, whichever it was. I would call ahead first to let them know your plans. I've found that is the best way to do it your way. :)
    I hope your infertility journey is a short one!

  2. Thanks, Perfect Timing! I'm glad to hear that it wasn't too bad. Of course, whenever you search for medical procedures online, you end up finding all the crazy stories. Also, it turns out I waited too long to schedule my HSG, so we've got to move everything back a month. :-P No fun. Hopefully I get it together on time next month.

  3. I am laughing the 'catholic collection kit' term :), I like Perfect Timing's idea of making a night of it too!