Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Help me, Prayer Buddy! You're my only hope! *updated*

I hope you like S.tarWars, prayer buddy!
Husband and I went to see Dr. C for a follow up this morning. I feel pretty miserable right now, so I'd just like to ask for your prayers to get through this time, this week, this hour. I'll share more later, I'm just not quite ready to write about it yet.

Just to fill in the situation here, at the follow up yesterday morning, the doctor gave me a scrip for two months of T.amox.ifen (apparently my estrogen could be a smidge higher) and she said that the next thing to do, when we're ready to investigate further if the medicine doesn't work, would be to do a laparoscopy. I was surprised and dismayed that there wasn't more investigating to be done before going in for surgery to have a look around. (Well, to be clear, Husband hasn't done the SA yet, and we'd want to do that first). I had thought surely there'd be other sorts of steps to accomplish first.

After the appointment, Husband and I had a long talk, and I suddenly realized that he's not on the same page as me about looking into this. We both have reservations about surgery, but Husband is willing to wait a really long time before acting on this. He suggested that if the SA is normal but the medicine doesn't help, we wait "a year, and just try to relax and not stress about it. Maybe it'll just happen." I'm sorry, but if you haven't noticed, honey, telling your infertile wife to relax is the worst thing you could do in this situation.

He still expects it to just happen by surprise. That we'll get that joyful BFP as if by accident.

I thought that he understood that it's not likely to happen. It's possible, I guess, but every month that goes by now, the chances grow more remote. And he isn't paying enough attention to realize that this is breaking my heart, and no amount of ignoring it in an attempt to relax is going to fix things.

This all also happened in a week where we're at odds in another area of our marriage. Finding out that we're not on the same page with babymaking too means that we have to work on our marriage as a whole before moving forward with any sort of investigation or possible fertility solutions.



  1. You are having one hec of a week. Praying you and Dh can get on the same page soon. I often find husbands are prone to take things slowly or be overly optimistic, and it *breaks our hearts.* So yeah, again, know you are not alone. ((hugs))

  2. I'm so, so sorry for the late comment!
    I'll be praying for you that you and your DH get on the same page. I agree about doing the SA before the surgery ... and also some other treatments that you haven't had. However, I've had the laparoscopy and it was helpful to confirm my Endo and once that was removed (separate surgery), I hope I have a better chance of conceiving. I'll be praying your DH gets on board with you, as you are the one enduring most of the uncomfortableness of testing, injections, medicines, etc.
    IF is such a big test to a couple's marriage. I'm so sorry.

  3. As if IF all by itself isn't hard enough...I'm so sorry to hear you have another challenge in your marriage as well. The Man doesn't quite get it either - I just don't think men can get it as we women do...and it is one more phase of the struggling.
    Prayers for you.