Friday, October 12, 2012

Spaghetti vs. Waffles

I was blessed this morning with proof that I'm not intentionally trying to sabatoge my marriage or my happiness by dwelling on everything that isn't going our way. Turns out it's CD1! I've not had a period since August due to my surgeries, and no one was really sure when they'd start again. I shouldn't have been surprised in the bathroom this morning, but I was. I actually exclaimed aloud! Haha. Good thing Husband is traveling, or he might have been worried about me.

Now, you may be wondering what the title of this post is all about. Two delicious forms of carbohydrates, perhaps? It does so happen that the first is one of my favorite foods and the second is one of Husband's favorite foods. But, grasshoppers, that is not why they are the words duking it out up above.

I spoke to November yesterday, and she diagnosed me and Husband with acute cases of spaghetti brain (for me) and waffle brain (for him). Ah! Finally, a diagnosis for something that's wrong with us!

But seriously. Apparently it's really common for men to compartmentalize their thinking and their lives. Husband and I already know that he does that and that it can be an issue for us. This is, in some circles, like ours from now on, also known as "waffle brain." You know, cuz waffles have all those little compartments? Yeah, I know you know. Ok, moving on.

If waffles = compartmentalized thinking, then spaghetti = intertwined thinking. With women, the not-uncommon conditition of spaghetti brain can result in seeing connections between everything. Maybe even when the only connection is that your thoughts are all in the same pasta bowl, perhaps?

I can see where problems can arise when a spaghetti brain like me, who sees connections between nearly everything big in our lives, is trying to address issues with a waffle brain like Husband. I'm going to have to work on not getting upset with Husband for not seeing and caring about everything at once, and Husband is going to have work on not getting upset with me for thinking and caring about more than one thing at a time. I think that it's fair to have expectations of your spouse. How else are we to become better people?

But in the end, I cannot become a waffle brain, and Husband will never be a spaghetti brain. But I think we have to try to meet in the middle. I'm not sure what kind of delightful food we can call that state of mind. Anyone care to offer suggestions?



  1. No idea what food you'd be in the middle, but even if you can't switch from one to the other, it's SO helpful when you have some idea of why you are each seeing things the way you are. (And CD1 also always explains a lot!)

  2. Ah, CD1 - explains so so much, doesn't it?

    I love this analogy - it makes so much sense. And I'm glad I came back to this tonight (I read it on my phone earlier today) b/c The Man and I had a tough day, and I really think it boils down to our waffle vs. spaghetti brains. I had a whole "we need to talk" worked out in my head, but I think I need to rethink some of my points before I start it..