Saturday, January 12, 2013

Starting a New Chapter

Oh friends.

This week, I lost my job. At the meeting that was supposed to be about setting new first quarter goals, the HR director told me that it's obvious that I am incapable of doing this job, so they were terminating me immediately.

I knew it was a possibility, but it was still a surprise. It makes me angry that my supervisor did not stick up for me at all. I don't know if he agrees with the HR manager (who doesn't know me at all, by the way) that I am incapable of doing the job, or if he was just more concerned about keeping his own job, so he didn't want to stick his neck out.

Some of my coworker friends helped me pack up my cubicle, took me out to lunch, and then I packed up my car and drove away. Of course, I forgot my lunchbox, so I had to drive back and call someone to grab it out of the kitchen fridge for me. :P

There are lots of positives that will come out of this. For example, at the end of the day, I have been so exhausted that I can barely eat when I get home. Now I can eat and nap and do whatever my body needs to grow this little baby whenever I need to do it.

I have always dreamed of being a stay at home mom. I thought, of course, that I would be working all nine months before baby's grand entrance, but Husband is being so brave and keeps telling me this is just speeding up the plan we would have put in place anyway. We're nervous about going down to one income, but you know what? I truly believe that we can do it.

We've agreed that I don't need to feel pressured to find another full time-job, or to make the perfect career move. At some point, I am probably going to apply for some part time work that would be much closer to home than my lengthy 40-mile commute was. Also, my boss at the cookbook store says that when my morning sickness subsides, I can pick up a few more hours there. January and February are her slowest months anyway, and I don't want to be trying to get hours in the months where she isn't making enough money to pay me anyway. She'd probably let me work, but I wouldn't ask that of her.

As I was sitting in the meeting, being told how worthless I was, I thought to myself - Husband is praying for me right now. Family members are praying for me. My blogging and IF facebook friends have been including this meeting in their prayers. Maybe this is all meant to be, all what God really wants. Maybe my job was a knot that the Queen of Heaven loosened for me. I have thought about leaving so many times over the years, and tried a few times, but I never got up the gumption to just quit without a new job waiting for me or to try out an entirely new career field. Maybe this is what I needed to do.

My self-esteem is hurt, but all of the ugliness is overshadowed my continuing joy at the new little life growing inside me. It is time to start writing a new chapter in my life story.

-January

13 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear that you got fired but can I just say your outlook on it all is so beautiful! You are right, you have been in many people's prayers and I love that you recognize that this was potentially one of the knots (I'm loving this novena by the way!!!)!

    I love staying home (and our little one hasn't arrived yet!) and have for awhile and know that you will too-now, go and rest and take it easy...you totally deserve that, you're growing a baby! ;)

    Continued prayers for you!

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  2. I am so sorry for all of the stress surrounding this. Thank goodness that you are out of there though and are able to manage. Your last two paragraphs are excellent. Here's to you and this next chapter of your life! May these days be full of rest, peace, and joy.

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  3. I'm sorry about the extra stress of the actual loss of the job, but I think you have a fantastic outlook on things. I'm glad you're going to be able to eat better and rest more!

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  4. Good riddance to them! Now you can just enjoy your pregnancy. :)

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  5. So sorry you have to go thru this right now !

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  6. I too am sorry you are having to go through this! I was laid-off this past summer and at first I was super bummed because yeah - I felt pretty worthless, but truly I have come to view the lay-off as one of the best things that happened last year. I got to stay home with my daughter and we are going to try to get by on much reduced income. I love staying home now and have always wanted to, but didn't think it was feasible. I have spent a LOT of time analyzing our budget, searching out deals, trying to lower bills - in one case we were paying $155 a month total for our internet/cable/home phone. I was able to bundle all of them now with one provider and we pay $79 total per month now. I was giddy about saving $75 / month off of just that one part of our budget. If you ever want to talk more about the specifics of budgeting, couponing, looking for deals, etc...you can e-mail me. I love this stuff and it a passion of mine. Okay, sorry for rambling. But I love your attitude!! You can do this and grow, baby, grow!!

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  7. So sorry you got fired :(. I'm really glad that you and your hubby are able to make it work though!

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  8. It is sad you were let go. Now you get to concentrate on you and growing that baby! Praying for you, it is hard to be told that you can't do your job, bleh HR.

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  9. So sorry about your job--you seem to have a good attitude about it though! Praying for you.

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  10. Thank you so much everybody! Your support is definitely something I couldn't do without. JBTC - you can bet I'll be writing to you to ask about this stuff. Today's project is to see how low I can get the cable bill!

    -January

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  11. So sorry to hear about the job, it's a pretty painful experience when they make it so personal. Praying that this is a blessing in disguise for you!

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  12. I'm angry that you lost your job, but I am also so happy for your outlook - and yes, this could absolutely be a knot that Mary has loosened for you. Staying happy & healthy are essential for your little baby & I'm happy to know you can remedy that by more rest at home. I think the new Chapter in your life is looking so bright!!!

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  13. So sorry you lost your job! I've been in that situation before and I know how awful it is. At least now you can concentrate on growing the new little one! Praying for you!

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