And suddenly, hope is flying at me from all directions! Granted, it has something to do with the time of year. But now that I've decided to put my energy into hoping, and into acting based on that hope, I'm hearing so many hopeful things. If you will allow me, gentle reader, just a few examples from the past two days:
1) Husband has a good friend who tutored a priest in English. This priest has now been sent to serve in the Middle East, and he sent this good friend a draft of his planned Christmas homily. It said Christmas was about three things, and the very first one is hope. (The second was family, by the way, and I'm *hoping* that this is something I can read into).
2) I've been watching Cr.anford, a delightful period British mini-series, and it makes me feel all cozy inside. In the last episode (I think), one of the characters said something to the effect of, "It's not the despair that hurts the most; it's the hope." Basically this has been my thinking for a while, and it highlighted to me that this is a universal problem, but I need to snap out of it!
3) Then there are the innumerable Christmas hope-themed commercials, songs, made-for-tv movies, etc., that keep popping up. We're all suceptible to advertising in some way, and it turns out that they're advertising hope, and I'm buying.
4) The support of friends, both IRL and on here. I'm so glad that November and I decided to jump in and start blogging, because I feel so much more connected and supported than I think I ever would have. Also, I've told a few more IRL friends about the TTC situation, and that's gone pretty well. My best friend from college is someone I had hesitated sharing this with. She's getting married in the spring, and seems to be in quite the delirium of joy. I didn't really want to be gloomy bridesmaid for her; this is a time where I want her to know that she has all my support. But after I told her, she said "With Murphy's Law, now that you've ordered your (nonrefundable, nonexchangeable) bridesmaid dress for my wedding, you have to get pregnant, just so that the dress doesn't fit!" For some reason, that made me smile when nothing else did. Yay for friends.
It might sound silly that I'm going on like this, but I don't think I had realized how hopeless I've been feeling until the hope returned to my spirit!