Monday, April 9, 2012

Happy Easter, Prayer Buddy Reveal, and CD 1

Happy Easter!

I was so excited to sing "Jesus Christ Is Risen Today" on Easter morning. My mom is in the bell choir, and it was the first song they rang before Mass started! Then we got to sing it for the processional. Aside from the excellent bell ringing, the coolest musical part of Easter Mass was that the church choir sang the "Hallelujah Chorus" at the end. And they sounded amazing. They always work really hard, but to be honest, I'm a music snob, and totally spoiled by the fact that the parish Husband and I belong to here has a semi-professional choir and incredible cathedral acoustics. But wow! I'm so thrilled for that choir back home. They did a great job.

***

My prayer buddy was:

Lavished with Lemons!

It was an honor to pray for her and learn all about her through her blog. She's a seriously wonderful person! She also knows how to up the ante for a prayer buddy. Scheduling some short-notice surgery for the middle of Lent, like it ain't no thang. In all seriousness, Lavished, praying for you this Lenten season has been a real blessing for me. Thank you!

Also, a shout out to my prayer buddy, His Essence Is Love, who I am so pleased to see was blessed with a pregnancy this Lent! Thanks to you and your husband for praying for me!

***

And finally, yes, friends, it's CD1. The only miracle I got this Easter was the original one, but really, that's the only one you need.

I am feeling pretty beat up emotionally by the trying and the hope and all of those things, especially in combination with my work life being such a mess. I was talking with November today, and I told her that I am contemplating not trying this cycle. And by not trying, I mean not only not charting and not taking medicine, but actually avoiding altogether. Is that wrong? On one hand, I feel like I need a break. On the other hand, I see how this could seem like I'm trying to take the power back from God, saying "Fine, God, you won't give us a baby? I won't give you the chance to give us a baby!" I don't want that; I want some protection for my heart, to know that I have nothing to hope for. Husband isn't home yet, but when he gets home, I have to talk about this with him. I told him this morning that it's ok that it's just the two of us; he countered with saying that he wouldn't mind if our "us" turned into three people. I know that he needs to hear from me that I am ok with us as we are, because sometimes I think it hurts him that I am not satisfied with our family as it is right now. It was so good to hear from him in turn that he still wants to have a baby, too.

What do you think? Avoiding: bad idea, good idea? You all know where I'm at, and your perspective would be helpful. Thanks.

-January

2 comments:

  1. I love the Easter choir when they have it. The extra "oomph" on the organ is turned on and everyone sings. Glorious! It must be what heaven is like.
    I have to say that maybe not charting or even trying isn't a bad thing for a month. I don't think you are saying you don't want a baby, but it's so stressful remembering to do everything, on time, each month. And it's you, not your hubby who does it. If you take a break, you are still trusting in God ... You are giving your fertility to Him, in good and bad. Hopefully, your hubby will give you some good advice too. :-) ill be praying for you!
    Happy Easter to you and Jan!

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  2. Crap, I mean Happy Easter to you and Nov! Sorry! :-)

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